capitl inglish
A host of writers from Mark Twain and James Thurber have complained that written English needs a massive overhaul. They felt that children shouldn't be forced to learn an irrational and inefficent code. capitl inglish is that overhaul. It's a much improved way of writing the English language. Words are spelled as they sound. Capitals are no longer used to start sentences or names. Whenever you see a capital letter in a word, pronounce the name of that letter. If you see "T" say "tee". If you see E, say "ee", etc. Also, the letter K disappears. It is replaced by "c" and "cA". Hopefully, twentieth century written English will soon be as extinct as the dinosaurs.
rIms uv jOsef michnr
ufrAd thu rImz BlO R porlE editid. but thA wr alredE on u disc, and sO wr EZ tU lOd. plEz dU yor pRt, and giv em grAdz (SpeshulE thOz U pRticUlrlE lIc, or dislIc). U wil fInd mI bSt rImz (94 pAjis uv um) N mI buclit,"rivrdanz rIm". if U'd lIc u copE, plEz sNd a chec for $7 to Joseph Mitchener at 11285 Black Forest Rd./ Colorado Springs, CO 80908
Evil wil NslAv
mN hU R gud
but not brAv
fun tU fInd
u priT poynt
dipt N rIm
hEd brIb or cOrs
evrE trustid sors
thE obsEn
magnetic pul
twEn powr
and Evul
pN sumthing sublIm
thN mAc it rIm
Ech sPcs frum
hiz own mowtun
down tU uthrs
on lesr Pcs
epitath for thu U.S.A:
an owr ustrId
and it BlEvd
"born tU rId"
yr wud B alXandr
rIdz with u nasT spr
U brUm u rUm
prMitr tU sNtr
(MpIrz tU)
inglish grU strawng
wN it rOt lIc it spOc
an it spOc lIc u sawng
uv BnItid convNchun
thu brIt wil hav nun
tU dI for an IDu
iz nObl.
but nOblr yet
tU dI for an IDu
that's trU.
H.L.mNcN
wN its capitul wNt lawng
inglish BcAm stawng
thE utac awn teror
DcrEz
wE Dstroy owr
blac AgNsEs
hLping mI hOm
Ntrans historEans
bI folOing athNs
not rOm
tU thu hUmans fAs
wE cawl thM u rAs
but awl A.I.
thingc thM u crawl
bad asiz R At
N u gud stAt
or bR
awl U nO
gOz tU zirO
rich stAs uv pAn
butuns bI mich
nO grAt DfNs
lawng lAd lO
u flUid awfNs
"pAtriutizum
iz u tUl uv sNusizum.
it hEts thu blud
and narOz thu mInd.
wN thu blud boyulz
and thu mInd clOsis tIt
sitizNs gladlE awfr
awl thair rIts
tU thair lEdr N thu fIt.
I nO this iz sO
for tIm aftr tIm
I wuz that lEdr."
jUlEus Czr
NdOlnt mInz
thE activ fInz
N contMpt
thO thA NvIt
thu tIrant’s tUth
potE pOits
spEc thu trUth
yr top thug sAz
thu wAz uv thu woryr
pAz
childrN uv thu nIt
nOing thA R rIt
wil cil hU cwSchun
(az stUpid or Evul)
how lawng can airistocruC
prop itsLf with NecwiT?
thu mastr uv
thu murdrus mIcrOb
wil rUl thu glOb
mNE C
thu comun wEcnis
uv vaniT.
vaniT N wun gI or grl
N u rEligun, u nAshun
or N u wrld.
vaniT iz u crac
NvIting pNitrAshun.
watr fals
an lItning tU
wair pEcs R tal
an mN R fU
for ol hu pA
A pol or hucr
wil dU az thA sA
nUmrus MpIrs.
Ech iz u bonfIr
tU baclIt wun
Aglis gEnyus.
wE cownts D tIm
for D bAts N rIm
wud U B rEmMbrd thN
az “wun uv mNE Czrz”?
or “N thu Us uv mN”?
wil rogrs sed:
shud thair B
nO dawgz N hevan
thN,
sN mE wair
ded dawgz gO
tU sL mor:
1)fInd thu cE
2)brIb or cumpL hM
tU 3)Opun thu dor
dOn’t shun compitishun
uv cors
preditrz sit
contrOling A rEsors
prA must vizit.
(ya otr thingc wotr)
thE wL vrst hud
plAz rEvrst
robNhud
funE how
wemun an munE
showr u rIsing powr
nevr ascing
how twas wun
how tU mAc
u grAt shO?
Thu militairE
an prO rSlrs nO.
and that crown
woshingtun
brusht down . . .
shud it land
awn u bush?
U don’t RgU
with wun
hU bIs inc
bI thu tun
edUcAshun tU mE iz:
chAs thu Psiz
put um N plAs
thN sA whut U C
lIf’s such u bitch
Bcawz
thu mo u thu po
thu richr thu rich
with u
dMOcratic vNir
owr fashists stir
umairicu
an umerican crEAshun
uv fashist DzIn:
thE bOz-InstIn nAshun
fIn mE u rIm
tU trn this tId
uv fashizm
usId
drumz Bt strawng
awn thu rIt.
awn cumz thu lawng
naZ nIt.
wE’l spawn lS strIf
if wE giv mRz
R silicawn lIf
spotlIt luvrs
wana utract um
powr luvrs
wana utac um
bush chOz u tEm
tU XamN Osama’z utac.
hE nAmd tom cEn
tU lEd that pac.
now loyal tom
helps direct "hS oyl".
hS haz wun partnr
"dLtu oyl" uv sawdi.
an dLtu wE C
iz run bI this gI
mistr calid mahfouz.
calid haz u sister
hU'z long bN dAt'n
Osama bin lAdn.
wE wrcing mUl
want Opn rUl
but
thE powrful fU
cEp it Ccrut
glObul worming
wE’l upOz
bI thu shadO
uv bush’s nOz
wE get red N owr rOl
az brIt tUthE pred
or dM, gulibul prOl
not ol thingc it nIs
but u pol or u hor
wil dU u nawtE favor
for u prIs
az u mawth sEcs u flAm
mN sEc novulT and fAm
torchr, murdr
slEpN N thu strEt
thE wIz dOn’t critisIz
thE Mpiriul ElEt
A fish or stAt N fir
Ets lSr wunz tU grO
sO it wOn’t B u swolO
for u fastr grOing pir
thu drug wor
iz u cuvr
for clas wor
N wich thu rich
swing thair ax
awn hU dair sA
thu rich shud pA
u fair tax
thE bSt product
iz fir.
for thE tairorstruc
R EZ tU domNir.
contracs sEmNtid
absNt NE mEnz
uv NforsmNt
R wrdz wAstid
(adaptid frum tomus hobs)
u choys uglE az Old
MbrAs god an povrT
or thu devul an gOld
dansrs mAc wA
(az duz lIf tU)
for hU displA
wut U mIt dU
Ech mugr tLs hiz sun
if thrE uv yr prA
wud fIt az wun
U’d dI awn that dA.
but dM witid prA
R tU ful uv frIt
tU UnIt.
owr galacCs
milcE spred
spNs with
andromudu
N its hed
A frUt uv fashist crEAshun
thE bOz-InstIn nAshun
thE CIA
iz u tUmr
wE wud slA
with hUmr
grAt forchuns urIz
wair hUmaniT dIz
azimawv
wantid tU B
cing uv thE
lIbrairE
(wich left mich
thu langwich)
thu left lOth XtrEmz
uv XtuC and mizurE
wIl thu rIt scEmz
tU shRpN both
fR pOits sung
uv u wundrus tung
cud rEch fresh Eirs
Byond thu stRs
or u bilyun yirs
that dRc munE octOpus
wich cOmandz us frum hL
firs Nfecshus Idus
lIc librT, and
puting wLth
N u bL
lrning frum thu past
that wLth Blongz
tU thu buchring clas
wN wAgiz hit lOs
u forchun’s cumand grOs
sO wrcrs and Onrs
must evr upOs
wrdz prIst bI thu devul:
"owr rUlrs R Evul"
tU air um wun givz
hiz own lIf
that uv hiz wIf
and relutivz
Evuls R tU powr
az mNits tU thu owr
consNtrAt thawts vApr
DbAt yrsLf on papr
thu smolr thu sIz
thu fastr tIm flIz
wrs cOrupshun
iz betr hid
hIr awn thu pirumid
N historE wE sE
thu sLibrAshun uv
brUtaliT
wepunz pIld up
mRc thu mOst
cOrupt
A rich man crAvz
hI Ntrist
lO taxiz, an
mor slAvz
lobing hiz sEdz
awn u salt flat
thu dMOcrat nEdz
virchU N thu mob
undr evOlUshun’s strS
must dRc Rts evr B
thE cE tU sucS?
stong IDus prsist
but shamz that fAl
undr thu sun’s Xam
R az frAl az mist
NE poynt
bOth Etrnul
and prIm
wE unoynt
with cRtUn
or rIm
thO it sEmz ubsrd
thu grAtist pOits
R nevr hrd
Bcawz thair songs
MAc threts
uv throngz
u lIun wud sMplE sA
(lIc u mugr, dawg, or cing)
"utac OnlE EZ prA
unlS yr stRving"
cings mAc mN
(az sAgis mAc IDus)
batul tU thair Nd.
cowboyz hrd catul
and cash N on thair sAl.
rich mN hrd Ppul
cashing N on BtrAl.
conflict
mOst abhor.
but sum sE IDus
mAd betr bI batul.
and ElEts sE us
mAd betr bI wor.
thE sceptic sez:
awl wE nO
iz u rAnbO
thu mInd uv man
can nevr sEz
"rEligus rEsuning"
sum spUf
az "ritUl dansing"
for u gEomitrE
prUf
A grAt culchr or wAv
crests shortlE Bfor
mEting its grAv
thu lS lIc us it B
thu mor "uglE"
wE sE
bilyuns uv prOlz
lIc tU plA rOlz
that hapilE rEvrs.
thowsans uv pred
Njoy Nsted
thu rEvrs
with baruls uv blud
tiz rit:
acsept thu status cwO
or B crusht bI it
az u mawth spIrulz tU u flAm
wE sEc novulT and fAm
hIr thu CIA.
nO job tU smol.
pupits Nstold
fast and chEp.
masis Dbold
wIl thA slEp.
sUn yr lAbr
wil B drt chEp.
not u Unyun wil str
tU trubl yr slEp.
A critic or rItr
uv left prswAshun
thA wil torchr
with slO stRvAshun
owr boy frst acsis
Nhairitans tacsis
(alwAz such u pAn)
but gon for az long
az hE shal rAn
how mNE scolrs
must B torchrd?
how mNE wrcrs
must B mrdrd?
Bfor wE sE
tacs ecwiT?
prS yr Gnyus
frE mN an wemN
R slOlE NslAvd.
Ech frEdum iz wAvd
For mor prOtecshun
until ol frEdumz Cs
and thu sNtrul Evul
contrOlz thE pOlEs.
frum sports tU politics
thu mor munE Nvolvd
thu mor lIclE thu fics
Vnus utracs pEnus
laws shElding mN
frum thair folEz
Ncuredg fUlz
-herbrt spNsr
curedg, mI dir
B not absNs . . .
but mastrE
uv fir
- adaptid frum mRc twAn
scairE OpOnants
U can pump
if U’l OnlE
bI thu ump
thu lFt
lOths XtrEmz
uv XtaC
and mizrrE.
thu rIt scEmz
tU shRpN bOth.
fR pOits sung
uv u wundrus tung
cud rEch fresh eirs
Byond thu stRs
or u bilyun yirs
NstitUshuns
R evr EvolvN.
ThOz that cundishun mN
tU flEsing bI thair mastrs
R roylE blSt.
ThOz that mac thu flEsing wrs
R sUn rEprSt.
that drc munE octupus
that cOmandz us frum hL
firs Nfecchus IDus
lIc "librT", and
"puting wLth
N u bL"
wn wAgiz hit lOz
u forchun’s cOmand grOwz
sO wrcrs and Onrs
must evr upOz
Dpreshuns mAc
chEp mN an guns
awl frE things
cum with strings
wrds prIst bI thu devul:
"owr rUlr iz Evul"
tU air em wun givz
hiz own lIf
that uv hiz wIf
and rLutivz
consNtrAt
thawts vApor.
DbAt yrsLf
Awn papr
N historE wE sE
thu sLibrAshun uv
brUtaliT
wE lrn bI trics
that BUT can lI
N mathematics
worm Oshuns
uv EmOshuns
flO at thu botum
cOld logishuns
mEt at thu top
uv thE IQ Pc
yor rich man crAvs
hI Ntrest
lO tacsis
and mO slAvs
undr evOlUshun’s streS
wil thu dRc arts
evr B thu cE
tU u nAshun’s sucsS?
strong IDus prsist
but shams wich fAl
undr thu sun’s Xam
R frAl az mist
cings mAc thair mN
sAgiz mAc thair IDus
batul tU thu Nd
rEbL AgNst yr slAvrrE
an get yr hed set frE
conflict mOst abhor
but sum sE IDus
mAd betr bI batul
and ElEts sE us
mAd betr bI wor
N thu thawt uv man
grEs wuz thu sun
rOm wuz thu mUn
umairicu
wud B rOman
az mNE mInz
sEc OrigNul fAm
az moth spIrul
tU thair flAm
thE Ndlis flux
cald lIf
urIzing and faling
thru strIf
por pOits lIc dRc trUths wL sed.
thu rich lIc such pOits . . . wL . . . ded.
por cowboys hrd catl
and cash N awn thair sAl
thu rich hrd Ppl
cashing N awn thair
BtrAl
jO sceptic sEz
trUth az u rAnbO
wich thu hand uv man
can nevr sEz
rEligus rEsuning
sum spUf az
ritUl dansing
for u GomitrE prUf
yor grAt culchr or wAv
crSts shortlE Bfor
mEting its grAv
with bairlz uv blud
tiz rit:
acsept thu status cwO
or B crusht bI it
thE popUlAshun XplOshun
iz EZ tU stop
Ech nAshun’s birth rAt
must get tU its target
or its wLthE lUz wAt
(BgNing frum thu top)
evrE owr
during Ps
cings
coyl powr
if A popUlAshun
nEdz brEding
it shud B dun
bI forgOing NE brth
uv lIclE litul wrth
not bI stRving
or withhOlding
medicAshuns
frum bilyuns
N wor awn thu por
wair munE flOz
corupshun
folOz
santu clawz,
onist sports,
onist mEDu
thN DmocruC,
and fInlE
god . . .
miths dI hRd.
chAn hRdNing:
. . . thu soft
displAst
bI thu hRd
grOw hRd
and displAs . . .
prE sElecshun
uv hU wil bair
or
pOst sElecshun
N nAchr’s cair?
frum hil an holO
thu masis folO
hU hOldz
thair fUd
bOlz
mAc u sacrufIs
tU get em DpNdnt.
thN SNt bI sNt
rAz thu prIs
. . . sOsIiT
gNrulz C
az u wA
tU bild an RmE
tU concr
unuthr . . .
tU cuntrOl em
cOrupt
wut thA
trust
wun
yung an brIt
iz not hLd tIt
bI trudishun
thE Onrs hav urAngd
that formN an cings
hU rUl tU litul
wil B chAngd
cwSchunrs
at thu top R propt
at thu botum
thA R chopt
fir uv thu AlEyun
iz u fAvorit tUl
uv OprSiv rUl
mInz abhor
dM custumz
unXamNd
ufor
wN bElitlrs sA
wut did U dU
wN owr hitlr
wuz N powr?
wut sA U?
wud u tIrant C
thE rEtIrE
az dedwud?
cud R yung
B sOld
that thE Old
R dedwud?
UlEgNs flEz
tU hU bringz
victorEz
wor
awt tU B fawt
with nObul
EmOshun
and pland
with nun
wN thu thug can sE
thu crowd iz gutlis
hE can mug
thu dEfNslis
with glE
that urg
for stormz
blac hOlz
and tIrants
tU mrg
u hot, raw dEl
mLts cOld stEl
but lEvz BhInd
u fEld uv dagrs
ulInd
can an MpIr
B hung
bI its
tung?
mInd N yr pocit?
A grAt stEd
iz bilt for spEd
yor tIrant’s stAt
wil B bilt
for wor
can’t pul yr Ppul
up for wor?
mAc or fAc
an utac
awn yr hOmland.
thN U’l utract
u milyun mN.
NE chic can
dangul u chicN
an cach u man
u pOit’s tIm
NclUds
thu rEvrbz
uv hiz rIm
u branching thing
lIc frE thawt
mA lEd wair
it shud nawt
wE ubUz
owr mUz
an lUz
hr cumpunE
u nU vU upirs
N tolc BtwEn
rEmOt pirs
regUlr jOcs
brEd
regUlr strOcs
if thA sA U must srv
sum uthr
I wil prA TU u normul crv
wN thu mUn iz ful
dolfNz danz
N sNful spIrul
u rItr hU duznt . . . iznt.
u man Etr hU duznt . . . iznt.
A nAshun Etr that duznt . . . iznt.
long hamring
bI yr frUt
mIt Evn bring
rEpUt
thE chamPyun
long BtwEn fEts
fElz lIc u fucr
misN Bts
betr mInz
betr shun
silE trudishun
I suspect U’l trI
but U’l not cil
rEspect for trUth
contMpt for lI
thA wil evr trI
but wil nevr cil
rEspect for trUth
contMpt for lI
thu bSt cum tUgethr
N u cwSt tU
mAc wun betr.
yr gOldN rUl iz cUl
but
OnlE srvIvrs rUl
mOst uv lIf iz run
on thu eg uv
Xtingchun
thE pA for Gnyus
iz lO
sNs wE nO
thA prform
NEwA
dRc nets R plAt
az critics
cOmUnicAt
mI rImz wud chIm
thrU lIftImz
that vast pOtNchul
N yr pN
wil mOstlE gO
unUsd
Ech brAv iz uwair
hE’l B chEf
if hE can cil
u cAv bair
N thu Nd
U’l bNd
for yor
prOtector
rItrs an shitrs
awfN
fEl thu urg
N u grab for powr
thu hot hord
pA thu prIs.
thu IC fU
nab thu rEword
bSt thawt iz dun
N culchrul
cOlishzun
wN thu fEld iz ful
U’l fatN yr prs
OnlE bI
tAcing frum uthrs
N NE ful rAng
u fU wil gAn
frum thu pAn
uv mNE
iz an airer
wut bringz
fresh air?
evrE lIf
sEz itsLf
sNtrul
hU runs thu stAg
wil NgAg
mUzishuns
AI wuz born bawling
Frum cOmrshul cawling
that sAbr tUtht cat?
an thu cAv bair?
cild bI thE NDN.
(cild N trn
bI bIO worfair)
damit! it’s uncUl
for u nAshun
with sic tung
rEligun, and metric
tU rUl u planit
stedE wNdz
Dform u trE
az fAth bNdz
for brIbrE
hot mUsicl oyl
mAcs yor
dans flor
boyl
nI evrE crEd
iz worpt bI grEd
usUm Ech uv us
u Gnyus
wAtN tU blUm
hI N thu snO
awn cilumanjRO
thu bOnz uv u lIun lI.
did it gO thair tU dI?
wI?
tU EzilE wE nO
uthrs shalO
Y dU Ppul flrt
with u sistum that
trEts U lIc drt?
thu slac
N owr wop
(zirO tU wun)
mezurs owr
corupshun
Ech rich gI nOz
trics uv thu caRnul cInd
R wL DzInd
N politics
wE wud B
Rtistic, grAsful pEpul
MbrAsing logic
and sMplisiT
historE
iz u stU uv storEz
(and a fU R trU )
bad for wun’s hLth
showtn ubowt
thu distrubUshun
uv wLth
lIc Iz
srprIzd
N lIz
yor doctor sEcs
hiz own dizEz
tiz sed
pOstingz
R mostlE red
bI pOstrz
yor cing
Amz tU sE
hiz nAm
N historE
dU OnlE thu dum
folO bad custum?
historE NspIrs
that U dU mor
than tNd yr fIrs
big advantig
can U manig
tU fuc wrcrs
wrs than cumpetitrs
nEthr factorE
nor nAshun
can sL owt its land
and cawl it
regUlr compNsAshun
(adapted frum Herman E. Daly)
wN hI
dOn't let
yr fIr dI
capitul porz
lIc mOlasis
ovr por
dosIl masis
Dp N thu dRc
gOldN mInz
lic drI pInz
nEd OnlE
wun spRc
jac’s epitaf:
stop yr wop
at haf slac!
dU thu hIlE born
nEd tU prform?
nAm thu cwSchun
swrlN N thu flAm
wrldz lEding torchrr
lEdz wor awn torchr
yr cumpUtr
shops for chEp flops
thu richr for chEp lAbr
and yr rUlr for
thu chEp solgr
wN yr porpus gSiz
"rEword iz for novulT"
wut novulT U’l C
jac sez:
owr WOP N an L
iz thu crac
N owr librT bL
tImz grAt cairuvan
mRchiz rich Ovr por
an thN, AI Ovr man
filosofrs prospr
wN thA Dclair
thu status cwO
iz justlE sO
I’d NcwIr
Y U dans
sO clOs
tU thu fIr?
rot wil Ntr
frum thu edg
or thu sNtr
it’s hRd tU B sad
N thu springtIm
it’s hRd tU manag u frown
wn thu trEz R mad
with wIt blosumz
and thu hilz wair
an Mruld gown
it’s tuf tU dispair
N springtIm
tU sA nAchr iz crewl
az thu frAgrnt air
swAz grasiz N tIm
tU thu flIts
uv yr grl’s sawft hair
NE airistocruC
that’l not B “X”
must mAc us C
guvrmNt as
mistirius
and complX
air wE’l bair
thair hevE tax
AIDs or pOlEs
FBI or thu UN
wN antI-corupshun orgs
R cOruptid
hLthE orgs Nd
tU fInd u gud actor
"Us uv tIm"
iz thu prIm factor
pair yor popUlAshun
bI sElecshun
"hU wil bair?"
or. . .
stRv yor por.
“crEAshun”
long gStAshun,
NcrEsing urg,
pulsing Frt,
fInulE! tiz purgd!
rElEf sO glorius.
thair, N swadling rap
wun fresh wrc
uv Gnyus
or crap.
frum hil and holO
thu masis folO
hU cuntrOlz
thair fUd bOlz
Ech cing
dislIcs sINs
that Tchis
cwSchuning
“taxis R for litul Ppul”
aftr rEsun’s tung iz tId
politics ordrs jNOsId.
lOwr clasis
R fed tU thu fIr
awl tU garuntE
nun mAc u lIr
uv lEOnu helmslE
u nAshun iz
u pirumid uv pIruts
sAling u raft
uv rabits
N thu C uv mizrE
. . . sOsIuT
gNruls C
az u wA
tU bild an RmE
tU concr unuther . . .
nAshuns fir
bad, bad USA
badist nAshun
N thu hOl
hMisfir
. . . big fish wil
Et smawl frI
gud and Evl
dU not uplI.
thu lS ugrSiv
grO slOlE
thu mor ugrSiv
grO cwiclE
and then . . .
that ecwiT
thu mNE sEc
thu fU flE
thu bigr
evr Et thu smolr.
sO grO fast!
(thOz bownd bI ethics
mAc u fIn rEpast)
thu mas shrugz
"cingz R mirlE
stLR thugs"
munE and Evl
bSt uv alIz
Bcawz Ppl
luv priT lIz
get yr wrc dun
or rUl yr nAshun
sO az tU wLcum
XamNAshun
thN thu wIn uv powr
iz crusht frum
milyuns uv mN
trUth and OpNnis
thu mas glorifIz
but AgNs uv dRcnis
cuntrOl thair suplIs
drawn owt victorE
MprSiz fU.
with cwic victorE
U MprS awl.
thu mOst MprSt
wil joyn yr
snObawl.
remingtun lIct thu sownd
uv u hamr cumN rownd
rUlrs tU lIc fU lulz
twEn distunt batulz
edg runrs R NlItNd
wair shRp turnz
tItN
cwSchuning thu grAt
iz bAting yor fAt
tU B frE
U brAc yor
rUling shL
NusNt lIf
freshlE hurld
tU u crUl wrld
mN sEm tU mE
bOts upun u lAc
mOst flOt AmlislE
but wun puling stedilE
N u chOzN direcshun
pulz uthrs tU hiz wAcu
evOlUshun’z nIf
cuts Byond
organic lIf
yor preditor Dmanz
hiz mEt and landz
N blud grAV
crawling evOlUshun flIz
awn thu clashing uv AIz
wL dU Ppul
uzd az catul
rEbL
wE dIagnOs
OnlE thu sIns
wE nOs
wN nun cud DsId
"oprAtor or
cumpUtor?"
man dId
man’s wAv
haz hit it’s shor
wN cumpUtrs sA
"yor corporAshun
duznt nEd U
NEmor"
wN dolfNs dans. . .
lAbr and capitl
evr N strIf
U nEd u rEtrn
but wE nEd u lIf
wich historE?
thu militarE?
or the fantasE?
A rItrs mInd
wonts tU fInd
NtrSting things tU sA
N u cumpLing wA
A bIolOG cors
hLps u cid C
A sOsIitE
az u pirumid
uv preditors
far on thu rIt
DzInd disecwiT
iz not DzInd
for lIt
rIt wut U C
cumpLinglE
Bfor spliting an org
corupt its organ
for fIting corupshun
N tIm
U hU fIt slIm
get slImE tU
nIs shUtn cid.
now wN this job wuz sOld
wE sed wE’d pA U N gOld
but wE’v DsIdid Nsted
tU pA U N led.
hI awn powr’s drug
mNE admIr thu UnifIr
but thu sObr C
u vishus thug
thrT dAz
hath septMbr
April, jUn,
an nOvMbr.
thu rSt wE usUm
hav thrT wun
sAv qwir febUairE
wich wE usIn
twNtE At dAz
(and N lEp yr
twNT nIn)