capitl inglish



A host of writers from Mark Twain and James Thurber have complained that written English needs a massive overhaul. They felt that children shouldn't be forced to learn an irrational and inefficent code. capitl inglish is that overhaul. It's a much improved way of writing the English language. Words are spelled as they sound. Capitals are no longer used to start sentences or names. Whenever you see a capital letter in a word, pronounce the name of that letter. If you see "T" say "tee". If you see E, say "ee", etc. Also, the letter K disappears. It is replaced by "c" and "cA". Hopefully, twentieth century written English will soon be as extinct as the dinosaurs.



rIms uv jOsef michnr



ufrAd thu rImz BlO R porlE editid. but thA wr alredE on u disc, and sO wr EZ tU lOd. plEz dU yor pRt, and giv em grAdz (SpeshulE thOz U pRticUlrlE lIc, or dislIc). U wil fInd mI bSt rImz (94 pAjis uv um) N mI buclit,"rivrdanz rIm". if U'd lIc u copE, plEz sNd a chec for $7 to Joseph Mitchener at 11285 Black Forest Rd./ Colorado Springs, CO 80908

Evil wil NslAv mN hU R gud but not brAv

fun tU fInd u priT poynt dipt N rIm

hEd brIb or cOrs evrE trustid sors

thE obsEn magnetic pul twEn powr and Evul

pN sumthing sublIm thN mAc it rIm

Ech sPcs frum hiz own mowtun down tU uthrs on lesr Pcs

epitath for thu U.S.A: an owr ustrId and it BlEvd "born tU rId"

yr wud B alXandr rIdz with u nasT spr

U brUm u rUm prMitr tU sNtr (MpIrz tU)

inglish grU strawng wN it rOt lIc it spOc an it spOc lIc u sawng

uv BnItid convNchun thu brIt wil hav nun

tU dI for an IDu iz nObl. but nOblr yet tU dI for an IDu that's trU.
H.L.mNcN

wN its capitul wNt lawng inglish BcAm stawng

thE utac awn teror DcrEz wE Dstroy owr blac AgNsEs

hLping mI hOm Ntrans historEans bI folOing athNs not rOm

tU thu hUmans fAs wE cawl thM u rAs but awl A.I. thingc thM u crawl

bad asiz R At N u gud stAt or bR

awl U nO gOz tU zirO

rich stAs uv pAn butuns bI mich

thu spI-frI hI


wN evrE sitE can B blOn
withowt u singgl misl thrOn
shrlE thN, wE must asc
Y trilyuns for stR wors?
dU thOs lAzrs hav u tasc?
wN thu nUcs R smugld N
wut R thOs lAzrs dUing thN?
vets shud B thu frst tU gS
for smol pets dOnt nEd gas
u mIcrOwAv stils thair brAns.
u mOmNt gon, an gon ol pAns.
bigr brAns nEd bigr bEms
sO, owr problum's solvd it sEms
stR wor mAzrs prOvId thu cic
tU frI NE brAn we Dm sic!
tU hundrid twNT mIlz on hI
thairs u hUz tLiscopic I.
registrd as "KH-12"
its u hubl dubl cold,"spI-frI".
its mAzrs* can mUv with crAvN spEd
tU stil Ech and evrE pOlitic wEd.
its acUruC, sO sublIm,
can trAn tU mAzrs awn an rthN dIm.
but wN sum bugr iz N owr sIts
wE mA just chUz tU dim hiz lIts.
set thu powr at OnlE haf
flip u swich, an thN U'l laf
for sum wil stamr, an sum wil drUl
but nun wil dI
(can't B tU crUl)
duz spI-frI hav u tasc?
it mAcs it sAfr
not tU asc.

* A mAzr iz u mIcrOwAv lAzr wich shuts down cOmUnicAshun BtwEn nUrons thrUowt thu brAn.


nO grAt DfNs lawng lAd lO u flUid awfNs

"pAtriutizum iz u tUl uv sNusizum. it hEts thu blud and narOz thu mInd. wN thu blud boyulz and thu mInd clOsis tIt sitizNs gladlE awfr awl thair rIts tU thair lEdr N thu fIt. I nO this iz sO for tIm aftr tIm I wuz that lEdr." jUlEus Czr

NdOlnt mInz thE activ fInz N contMpt

thO thA NvIt thu tIrant’s tUth potE pOits spEc thu trUth

yr top thug sAz thu wAz uv thu woryr pAz

childrN uv thu nIt nOing thA R rIt wil cil hU cwSchun (az stUpid or Evul)

how lawng can airistocruC prop itsLf with NecwiT?

thu mastr uv thu murdrus mIcrOb wil rUl thu glOb

mNE C thu comun wEcnis uv vaniT. vaniT N wun gI or grl N u rEligun, u nAshun or N u wrld. vaniT iz u crac NvIting pNitrAshun.

watr fals an lItning tU wair pEcs R tal an mN R fU

for ol hu pA A pol or hucr wil dU az thA sA

nUmrus MpIrs. Ech iz u bonfIr tU baclIt wun Aglis gEnyus.

wE cownts D tIm for D bAts N rIm

wud U B rEmMbrd thN az “wun uv mNE Czrz”? or “N thu Us uv mN”?

wil rogrs sed: shud thair B nO dawgz N hevan
thN, sN mE wair ded dawgz gO

tU sL mor: 1)fInd thu cE 2)brIb or cumpL hM tU 3)Opun thu dor

dOn’t shun compitishun

uv cors preditrz sit contrOling A rEsors prA must vizit. (ya otr thingc wotr)

thE wL vrst hud plAz rEvrst robNhud

funE how wemun an munE showr u rIsing powr nevr ascing how twas wun

how tU mAc u grAt shO? Thu militairE an prO rSlrs nO.

and that crown woshingtun brusht down . . . shud it land awn u bush?

U don’t RgU with wun hU bIs inc bI thu tun

edUcAshun tU mE iz: chAs thu Psiz put um N plAs thN sA whut U C

lIf’s such u bitch Bcawz thu mo u thu po thu richr thu rich

with u dMOcratic vNir owr fashists stir umairicu

an umerican crEAshun uv fashist DzIn: thE bOz-InstIn nAshun

fIn mE u rIm tU trn this tId uv fashizm usId

drumz Bt strawng awn thu rIt. awn cumz thu lawng naZ nIt.

wE'l spawn lS strIf if wE giv mRz R silicawn lIf

spotlIt luvrs wana utract um powr luvrs wana utac um

bush chOz u tEm tU XamN Osama'z utac. hE nAmd tom cEn tU lEd that pac. now loyal tom helps direct "hS oyl". hS haz wun partnr "dLtu oyl" uv sawdi. an dLtu wE C iz run bI this gI mistr calid mahfouz. calid haz u sister hU'z long bN dAt'n Osama bin lAdn.

wE wrcing mUl want Opn rUl but thE powrful fU cEp it Ccrut

glObul worming wE'l upOz bI thu shadO uv bush's nOz

wE get red N owr rOl az brIt tUthE pred or dM, gulibul prOl

not ol thingc it nIs but u pol or u hor wil dU u nawtE favor for u prIs

az u mawth sEcs u flAm mN sEc novulT and fAm

torchr, murdr slEpN N thu strEt thE wIz dOn’t critisIz thE Mpiriul ElEt

A fish or stAt N fir Ets lSr wunz tU grO sO it wOn’t B u swolO for u fastr grOing pir

thu drug wor iz u cuvr for clas wor N wich thu rich swing thair ax awn hU dair sA thu rich shud pA u fair tax

thE bSt product iz fir. for thE tairor struc R EZ tU domNir.

contracs sEmNtid absNt NE mEnz uv NforsmNt R wrdz wAstid (adaptid frum tomus hobs)

u choys uglE az Old MbrAs god an povrT or thu devul an gOld

dansrs mAc wA (az duz lIf tU) for hU displA wut U mIt dU

Ech mugr tLs hiz sun if thrE uv yr prA wud fIt az wun U'd dI awn that dA. but dM witid prA R tU ful uv frIt tU UnIt.

owr galacCs milcE spred spNs with andromudu N its hed

A frUt uv fashist crEAshun thE bOz-InstIn nAshun

thE CIA iz u tUmr wE wud slA with hUmr

grAt forchuns urIz wair hUmaniT dIz

azimawv wantid tU B cing uv thE lIbrairE (wich left mich thu langwich)

thu left lOth XtrEmz uv XtuC and mizurE wIl thu rIt scEmz tU shRpN both

fR pOits sung uv u wundrus tung cud rEch fresh Eirs Byond thu stRs or u bilyun yirs

that dRc munE octOpus wich cOmandz us frum hL firs Nfecshus Idus lIc librT, and puting wLth N u bL

lrning frum thu past that wLth Blongz tU thu buchring clas

wN wAgiz hit lOs u forchun’s cumand grOs sO wrcrs and Onrs must evr upOs

wrdz prIst bI thu devul: "owr rUlrs R Evul" tU air um wun givz hiz own lIf that uv hiz wIf and relutivz

Evuls R tU powr az mNits tU thu owr

consNtrAt thawts vApr DbAt yrsLf on papr

thu smolr thu sIz thu fastr tIm flIz

wrs cOrupshun iz betr hid hIr awn thu pirumid

N historE wE sE thu sLibrAshun uv brUtaliT

wepunz pIld up mRc thu mOst cOrupt

A rich man crAvz hI Ntrist lO taxiz, an mor slAvz

lobing hiz sEdz awn u salt flat thu dMOcrat nEdz virchU N thu mob

undr evOlUshun’s strS must dRc Rts evr B thE cE tU sucS?

stong IDus prsist but shamz that fAl undr thu sun's Xam R az frAl az mist

NE poynt bOth Etrnul and prIm wE unoynt with cRtUn or rIm

thO it sEmz ubsrd thu grAtist pOits R nevr hrd Bcawz thair songs MAc threts uv throngz

u lIun wud sMplE sA (lIc u mugr, dawg, or cing) "utac OnlE EZ prA unlS yr stRving"

cings mAc mN (az sAgis mAc IDus) batul tU thair Nd.

cowboyz hrd catul and cash N on thair sAl. rich mN hrd Ppul cashing N on BtrAl.

conflict mOst abhor. but sum sE IDus mAd betr bI batul. and ElEts sE us mAd betr bI wor.

thE sceptic sez: awl wE nO iz u rAnbO thu mInd uv man can nevr sEz

"rEligus rEsuning" sum spUf az "ritUl dansing" for u gEomitrE prUf

A grAt culchr or wAv crests shortlE Bfor mEting its grAv

thu lS lIc us it B thu mor "uglE" wE sE

bilyuns uv prOlz lIc tU plA rOlz that hapilE rEvrs. thowsans uv pred Njoy Nsted thu rEvrs

with baruls uv blud tiz rit: acsept thu status cwO or B crusht bI it

az u mawth spIrulz tU u flAm wE sEc novulT and fAm

hIr thu CIA. nO job tU smol. pupits Nstold fast and chEp. masis Dbold wIl thA slEp. sUn yr lAbr wil B drt chEp. not u Unyun wil str tU trubl yr slEp.

A critic or rItr uv left prswAshun thA wil torchr with slO stRvAshun

owr boy frst acsis Nhairitans tacsis (alwAz such u pAn) but gon for az long az hE shal rAn

how mNE scolrs must B torchrd? how mNE wrcrs must B mrdrd? Bfor wE sE tacs ecwiT?

prS yr Gnyus

frE mN an wemN R slOlE NslAvd. Ech frEdum iz wAvd For mor prOtecshun until ol frEdumz Cs and thu sNtrul Evul contrOlz thE pOlEs.

frum sports tU politics thu mor munE Nvolvd thu mor lIclE thu fics

Vnus utracs pEnus

rUlz shElding mN frum thair folEz Ncuredg fUlz
-herbrt spNsr

curedg, mI dir B not absNs . . . but mastrE uv fir
- adaptid frum mRc twAn

scairE OpOnants U can pump if U'l OnlE bI thu ump

thu lFt lOths XtrEmz uv XtaC and mizrrE. thu rIt scEmz tU shRpN bOth.

fR pOits sung uv u wundrus tung cud rEch fresh eirs Byond thu stRs or u bilyun yirs

NstitUshuns R evr EvolvN. ThOz that cundishun mN tU flEsing bI thair mastrs R roylE blSt. ThOz that mac thu flEsing wrs R sUn rEprSt. that drc munE octupus that cOmandz us frum hL firs Nfecchus IDus lIc "librT", and "puting wLth N u bL"

wn wAgiz hit lOz u forchun’s cOmand grOwz sO wrcrs and Onrs must evr upOz

Dpreshuns mAc chEp mN an guns

awl frE things cum with strings



consNtrAt thawts vApor. DbAt yrsLf Awn papr

wE lrn bI trics that BUT can lI N mathematics

worm Oshuns uv EmOshuns flO at thu botum cOld logishuns mEt at thu top uv thE IQ Pc

undr evOlUshun’s strS wil thu dRc arts evr B thu cE tU u nAshun’s sucsS?

strong IDus prsist but shams wich fAl undr thu sun’s Xam R frAl az mist

rEbL AgNst yr slAvrrE an get yr hed set frE

N thu thawt uv man grEs wuz thu sun rOm wuz thu mUn umairicu wud B rOman

az mNE mInz sEc OrigNul fAm az moth spIrul tU thair flAm

thE Ndlis flux cald lIf urIzing and faling thru strIf

por pOits lIc dRc trUths wL sed. thu rich lIc such pOits . . . wL . . . ded.

jO sceptic sEz trUth az u rAnbO wich thu hand uv man can nevr sEz

rEligus rEsuning sum spUf az ritUl dansing for u GomitrE prUf

yor grAt culchr or wAv crSts shortlE Bfor mEting its grAv

with bairlz uv blud tiz rit: acsept thu status cwO or B crusht bI it

thE popUlAshun XplOshun iz EZ tU stop Ech nAshun’s birth rAt must get tU its target or its wLthE lUz wAt (BgNing frum thu top)

evrE owr during Ps cings coyl powr

if A popUlAshun nEdz brEding it shud B dun bI forgOing NE brth uv lIclE litul wrth not bI stRving or withhOlding medicAshuns frum bilyuns N wor awn thu por

wair munE flOz corupshun folOz

santu clawz, onist sports, onist mEDu thN DmocruC, and fInlE god . . . miths dI hRd.

chAn hRdNing: . . . thu soft displAst bI thu hRd grOw hRd and displAs . . .

prE sElecshun uv hU wil bair or pOst sElecshun N nAchr's cair?

frum hil an holO thu masis folO hU hOldz thair fUd bOlz

mAc u sacrufIs tU get em DpNdnt. thN SNt bI sNt rAz thu prIs

. . . sOsIiT gNrulz C az u wA tU bild an RmE tU concr unuthr . . .

tU cuntrOl em cOrupt wut thA trust

wun yung an brIt iz not hLd tIt bI trudishun

thE Onrs hav urAngd that formN an cings hU rUl tU litul wil B chAngd

cwSchunrs at thu top R propt at thu botum thA R chopt

fir uv thu AlEyun iz u fAvorit tUl uv OprSiv rUl

mInz abhor dM custumz unXamNd ufor

wN bElitlrs sA wut did U dU wN owr hitlr wuz N powr? wut sA U?

wud u tIrant C thE rEtIrE az dedwud? cud R yung B sOld that thE Old R dedwud?

UlEgNs flEz tU hU bringz victorEz

wor awt tU B fawt with nObul EmOshun and pland with nun

wN thu thug can sE thu crowd iz gutlis hE can mug thu dEfNslis with glE

that urg for stormz blac hOlz and tIrants tU mrg

u hot, raw dEl mLts cOld stEl but lEvz BhInd u fEld uv dagrs ulInd

can an MpIr B hung bI its tung?

mInd N yr pocit? A grAt stEd iz bilt for spEd yor tIrant’s stAt wil B bilt for wor

can’t pul yr Ppul up for wor? mAc or fAc an utac awn yr hOmland. thN U’l utract u milyun mN.

NE chic can dangul u chicN an cach u man

u pOit’s tIm NclUds thu rEvrbz uv hiz rIm

u branching thing lIc frE thawt mA lEd wair it shud nawt

wE ubUz owr mUz an lUz hr cumpunE

u nU vU upirs N tolc BtwEn rEmOt pirs

regUlr jOcs brEd regUlr strOcs

if thA sA U must srv sum uthr I wil prA TU u normul crv

wN thu mUn iz ful dolfNz danz N sNful spIrul

u rItr hU duznt . . . iznt. u man Etr hU duznt . . . iznt. A nAshun Etr that duznt . . . iznt.

long hamring bI yr frUt mIt Evn bring rEpUt

thE chamPyun long BtwEn fEts fElz lIc u fucr misN Bts

betr mInz betr shun silE trudishun

I suspect U’l trI but U’l not cil rEspect for trUth contMpt for lI

thA wil evr trI but wil nevr cil rEspect for trUth contMpt for lI

thu bSt cum tUgethr N u cwSt tU mAc wun betr.

yr gOldN rUl iz cUl but OnlE srvIvrs rUl

mOst uv lIf iz run on thu eg uv Xtingchun

thE pA for Gnyus iz lO sNs wE nO thA prform NEwA

dRc nets R plAt az critics cOmUnicAt

mI rImz wud chIm thrU lIftImz

that vast pOtNchul N yr pN wil mOstlE gO unUsd

Ech brAv iz uwair hE’l B chEf if hE can cil u cAv bair

N thu Nd U’l bNd for yor prOtector

rItrs an shitrs awfN fEl thu urg

N u grab for powr thu hot hord pA thu prIs. thu IC fU nab thu rEword

bSt thawt iz dun N culchrul cOlishzun

wN thu fEld iz ful U’l fatN yr prs OnlE bI tAcing frum uthrs

N NE ful rAng u fU wil gAn frum thu pAn uv mNE

iz an airer wut bringz fresh air?

evrE lIf sEz itsLf sNtrul

hU runs thu stAg wil NgAg mUzishuns

AI wuz born bawling Frum cOmrshul cawling

that sAbr tUtht cat? an thu cAv bair? cild bI thE NDN. (cild N trn bI bIO worfair)

damit! it’s uncUl for u nAshun with sic tung rEligun, and metric tU rUl u planit

stedE wNdz Dform u trE az fAth bNdz for brIbrE

hot mUsicl oyl mAcs yor dans flor boyl

nI evrE crEd iz worpt bI grEd

usUm Ech uv us u Gnyus wAtN tU blUm

hI N thu snO awn cilumanjRO thu bOnz uv u lIun lI. did it gO thair tU dI? wI?

tU EzilE wE nO uthrs shalO

Y dU Ppul flrt with u sistum that trEts U lIc drt?

thu slac N owr wop (zirO tU wun) mezurs owr corupshun

Ech rich gI nOz

trics uv thu caRnul cInd R wL DzInd N politics

wE wud B Rtistic, grAsful pEpul MbrAsing logic and sMplisiT

historE iz u stU uv storEz (and a fU R trU )

bad for wun’s hLth showtn ubowt thu distrubUshun uv wLth

lIc Iz srprIzd N lIz

yor doctor sEcs hiz own dizEz

tiz sed pOstingz R mostlE red bI pOstrz

yor cing Amz tU sE hiz nAm N historE

dU OnlE thu dum folO bad custum?

historE NspIrs that U dU mor than tNd yr fIrs

big advantig can U manig tU fuc wrcrs wrs than cumpetitrs

nEthr factorE nor nAshun can sL owt its land and cawl it regUlr compNsAshun
(adapted frum Herman E. Daly)

wN hI dOn't let yr fIr dI

capitul porz lIc mOlasis ovr por dosIl masis

Dp N thu dRc gOldN mInz lic drI pInz nEd OnlE wun spRc

jac’s epitaf: stop yr wop at haf slac!

dU thu hIlE born nEd tU prform?

nAm thu cwSchun swrlN N thu flAm

wrldz lEding torchrr lEdz wor awn torchr

yr cumpUtr shops for chEp flops thu richr for chEp lAbr and yr rUlr for thu chEp solgr

wN yr porpus gSiz "rEword iz for novulT" wut novulT U’l C

jac sez: owr WOP N an L iz thu crac N owr librT bL

tImz grAt cairuvan mRchiz rich Ovr por an thN, AI Ovr man

filosofrs prospr wN thA Dclair thu status cwO iz justlE sO

I’d NcwIr Y U dans sO clOs tU thu fIr?

rot wil Ntr frum thu edg or thu sNtr

it’s hRd tU B sad N thu springtIm it’s hRd tU manag u frown wn thu trEz R mad with wIt blosumz and thu hilz wair an Mruld gown it’s tuf tU dispair N springtIm tU sA nAchr iz crewl az thu frAgrnt air swAz grasiz N tIm tU thu flIts uv yr grl’s sawft hair

NE airistocruC that’l not B “X” must mAc us C guvrmNt as mistirius and complX air wE’l bair thair hevE tax

AIDs or pOlEs FBI or thu UN wN antI-corupshun orgs R cOruptid hLthE orgs Nd

tU fInd u gud actor "Us uv tIm" iz thu prIm factor

pair yor popUlAshun bI sElecshun "hU wil bair?" or. . . stRv yor por.

“crEAshun”
long gStAshun, NcrEsing urg, pulsing Frt, fInulE! tiz purgd! rElEf sO glorius. thair, N swadling rap wun fresh wrc uv Gnyus or crap.

frum hil and holO thu masis folO hU cuntrOlz thair fUd bOlz

Ech cing dislIcs sINs that Tchis cwSchuning

“taxis R for litul Ppul”
aftr rEsun’s tung iz tId politics ordrs jNOsId. lOwr clasis R fed tU thu fIr awl tU garuntE nun mAc u lIr uv lEOnu helmslE

u nAshun iz u pirumid uv pIruts sAling u raft uv rabits N thu C uv mizrE

. . . sOsIuT gNruls C az u wA tU bild an RmE tU concr unuther . . .

nAshuns fir bad, bad USA badist nAshun N thu hOl hMisfir

. . . big fish wil Et smawl frI gud and Evl dU not uplI. thu lS ugrSiv grO slOlE thu mor ugrSiv grO cwiclE and then . . .

that ecwiT thu mNE sEc thu fU flE

thu bigr evr Et thu smolr. sO grO fast! (thOz bownd bI ethics mAc u fIn rEpast)

thu mas shrugz "cingz R mirlE stLR thugs"

munE and Evl bSt uv alIz Bcawz Ppl luv priT lIz

get yr wrc dun or rUl yr nAshun sO az tU wLcum XamNAshun

thN thu wIn uv powr iz crusht frum milyuns uv mN

trUth and OpNnis thu mas glorifIz but AgNs uv dRcnis cuntrOl thair suplIs

drawn owt victorE MprSiz fU. with cwic victorE U MprS awl. thu mOst MprSt wil joyn yr snObawl.

remingtun lIct thu sownd uv u hamr cumN rownd rUlrs tU lIc fU lulz twEn distunt batulz

edg runrs R NlItNd wair shRp turnz tItN

cwSchuning thu grAt iz bAting yor fAt

tU B frE U brAc yor rUling shL NusNt lIf freshlE hurld tU u crUl wrld

mN sEm tU mE bOts upun u lAc mOst flOt AmlislE but wun puling stedilE N u chOzN direcshun pulz uthrs tU hiz wAcu

evOlUshun’z nIf cuts Byond organic lIf

yor preditor Dmanz hiz mEt and landz N blud grAV

crawling evOlUshun flIz awn thu clashing uv AIz

wL dU Ppul uzd az catul rEbL

wE dIagnOs OnlE thu sIns wE nOs

wN nun cud DsId "oprAtor or cumpUtor?" man dId

man’s wAv haz hit it’s shor wN cumpUtrs sA "yor corporAshun duznt nEd U NEmor"

wN dolfNs dans. . .

lAbr and capitl evr N strIf U nEd u rEtrn but wE nEd u lIf

wich historE? thu militarE? or the fantasE?

A rItrs mInd wonts tU fInd NtrSting things tU sA N u cumpLing wA

A bIolOG cors hLps u cid C A sOsIitE az u pirumid uv preditors

far on thu rIt DzInd disecwiT iz not DzInd for lIt

rIt wut U C cumpLinglE

Bfor spliting an org corupt its organ for fIting corupshun

N tIm U hU fIt slIm get slImE tU

nIs shUtn cid. now wN this job wuz sOld wE sed wE’d pA U N gOld but wE'v DsIdid Nsted tU pA U N led.

hI awn powr's drug mNE admIr thu UnifIr but thu sObr C u vishus thug

thrT dAz hath septMbr April, jUn, an nOvMbr. thu rSt wE usUm hav thrT wun sAv qwir febUairE wich wE usIn twNtE At dAz (and N lEp yr twNT nIn)

summing Tomus Malthus
awn thu C uv mizrE mN flOt N tU thu chN. tethr u hundrid tUgethr tU mAc u raft. yr wAt ubuv sincs thOz BlO til mizrE laps at thair lips. sum wil dI . . . but thA'l cEp U drI sO lawg az yr lethr can cEp em tUgethr.

thu crac N thu bL
thE riscE but rich Mploy
iz not tU bild but tU not Dstroy.
that EZ trac tU hL
iz thu crac N librTz bL.

U R thE historian tU thu galaxE.
mA I C thE graf uv Psful handolf?

fast bordz rId thu wAvz. uthrz rId thu mass.

mancInd livz on thu nE uv historE
wair lIf Evolvd tU B DzInd.

awn u milyun planits lIf Evolvd thu wits tU DzIn u nU mInd.
and then that mInd DzInd wun mor fast
until uv cours thu torch wuz past
tU cwSchun thu univers.

An't historE acselerAt'n?

thE EcOnomic hLth sOlushun?
tax wLth!
for cOruptid lawz cawz revOlUshun.


cwSchun iz poysun tU a vapid vU.

drOnz R not DnIing thA R rObots flIing.

mancInd iz thu nIf N lIf
DvIding "Evolvd" an "DzInd".

bullEz hAt tEchrz.
thE thug wil hAt pOlEs.
yr Mpirial nAshun
wil curs thE UN.

wE wunder N thu dRc
iz thu wStrn camp's fIr
u cwSchun mRc?

U R wN evOlUshun boor DzIn.

laftr iz munE. but munE izn't funnE.